Year 3

In the first year after my husband leaving we lived from one crisis to the next. My goal for that year was very simply to get the divorce. It took 3 agreements and 10 months, but it was done just before Christmas. God provided everything we needed during this time. We had professional counseling, I had friends to confide in, and a prayer partner. A friend even gave me the money to pay for the divorce. The next year seemed to start off the same way, with each crisis being centered around visitation. Then in February he stopped seeing the kids for visitation and in March he moved out of state. The goal for that year changed to finding a home in town and moving. None of us had the emotional energy to deal with anything else. Again, God took care of us, from setting the kids free of their dad's unreasonable expectations to orchestrating and providing for our move. 

This year, I've determined, is about making a new life. Since we moved, the kids have begun to act out more. It's like they held their emotions in for the last two years and are finally in a place where they can let it all out. It's really been stressing me out. I tell the kids all the time, "There's four of you and just one of me." In the moment I'm likely to get angry and yell at them. But I need to remember that this is an opportunity. It's a chance to examine ourselves, to find those areas where we need to repent, where we need to get rid of bad habits and develop healthy ones, where we need to relearn how to relate to each other. The kids acting out just exposes their areas of sin, and mine. So my goal for this year is for us to work on repentance and relationships. Typing that sentence for this blog sounds so nice and neat. The reality is much more ugly. I have to work on that.