I'm in Need of a Barnabas

I ran into a friend Sunday whom I haven't seen in a few months. She's also a single mom. We spent a while catching up, and she shared some things her church had missed during the period following her divorce. She has boys very much in need of a man in their lives. Their dad is an alcoholic and highly inconsistent. They can't count on him for anything. Twice my friend approached her church to ask for a man or men to be there for her sons. The first time her pastor told her they would find someone, but no one ever followed up. The second time she asked, one of her boys was really struggling emotionally and behaviorally. But this time her pastor answered how sorry he was, but no one was interested or had the time!

The two of us agreed that churches tend to respond poorly to the encouragement needs of their members who are single parents. In thinking about it, I've decided it's at least partly because our society has become so complacent about divorce. It's common anymore,  laws have changed to make visitation and child support more enforceable and fair, and many families have found peaceable solutions to divorce and all that goes along with it. That makes it easy for people who've not experienced divorce to neglect the very real trial single parenthood still is for many parents.

We're in a difficult season right now, with all of us working through feelings of anger. We're getting better, but it is unbelievably hard to be the only parent carrying the emotional burdens for five people. I think my own greatest need since my ex-husband left is just for someone to encourage me. It's so easy to get caught up in day-to-day responsibilities and miss my own needs, to blame myself if something doesn't work out or if negative things happen, and to overlook the good things in our lives. And I don't realize I'm lacking until I'm very low. I need someone to point out the things I'm doing right, to hearten me to stay the course. Regularly.

Abba, You've provided for every other need we've had. I never understood how much I was lacking encouragement until I wrote this. I trust You to provide this, too. You are good, Lord!